Forward

Ever since we made the decision to leave California and move to Missouri, I've gone through a variety of emotions.  The first one was shock and surprise.  It's one thing to talk about doing such a thing, and at OUR age, but it's quite another to actually DO it.  And so it is that since late January I've been experiencing shock, grief, anticipation, a sense of adventure, oh no I'm NOT, more grief, and not a little fear thrown into the mix.


Having been born in and mainly raised in California, this is the world I know best.  It is familiar and though I may not like its governance and its schools have spiraled steadily downward, it holds no surprises. Here I have friends in abundance and an arts culture that draws me, if not to its center, certainly, has me sitting on its fringes enjoying the view and atmosphere that feeds me.

Here I have places where I can retreat to, on a daily basis if I like, for coffee, quiet, reading, and writing.  I can watch the world go on around me and there is always a friendly face saying hello, nodding as they walk by pushing strollers, walking their dogs, and generally strolling along with friends or alone, all heading to the same place for the same pleasure - coffee and companionship.

Here I have everything within a short drive.  Ten minutes in any direction takes me to groceries, all manner of stores, endless varieties of restaurants, movie theaters, garden shops, a university, art galleries, a library, and boutiques.  Friends, for the most part, are within shouting distance or no more than 30 minutes north or south.  Even my most longtime friends and most far away get up here, or I there, at least twice a year,  

But this is almost all behind me now.  Our house is sold. Papers are signed.  The train is about to pull out of the station.   How do I best describe the feelings churning inside me? Well, I haven't boarded the train yet but it's sitting there waiting for me and I feel very much like a dog on a leash.  I'm tugging and straining against the direction I'm being pulled in as I'm dragged into my future.  It feels uncomfortable and, inevitable.

Comments

  1. How long has it been since you have seen your new home? Have you looked at a street map of where you are going to live? Where is the closest place to shop? have coffee? look at art or hear music? On a small scale? So you don't have to go so far for emotional and mental refreshment/regeneration? Where is the closes Catholic Church????? Who is the Priest? Does your current Father know anyone in that area?
    We came up here knowing only two people, but they happened to be the ones who helped us with organizing our property and putting in the driveway. We had loads of problems with the other locals. No matter. We are still here and so are they.
    One thing that really mattered was the closemouthed attitude of the locals who would not volunteer any information and then later said quite innocently: "Well, you didn't ask." Life might have been very much easier, so consider how you phrase any question, but ASK!
    I am excited for you, Anne.

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  2. I must say that I don't think I would be able to do this, even if our family moved away. So you are BRAVE, and setting off on a new adventure! You are such a sweet and wonderful person that I know you will make new friends and neighbors quickly. I have stopped sending cards till you are settled, you do not need more stuff to move around! The way I get through huge changes like this is thinking about them as an adventure, with new things God has in store for me. Because you know, He is going with you, and has everything covered!! Love to my sweet friend, keep me posted.

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    Replies
    1. All true. So much to look forward to. It helps to dump the angst. I plan a "now that I'm here" post after we resettle. ๐Ÿ˜Š

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  3. Change can be both scary and exciting all at the same time. Good luck to you on the move.

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  4. It is scary, Annie. Why do you think I'm still where I am? I admire your courage and wish you all the best!

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